Just because your marriage is over does not mean you are done being a mother or father. Most divorcing parents in Buffalo want to continue to help raise their children. This can mean joint custody, or sharing in taking care of the kids.

For joint custody to succeed, each parent must be able to communicate and cooperate, despite the fact that their marriage ended and there may still be resentment and bitterness on both sides. This may not be easy, but it is likely that the children’s well-being is at stake, which should be a top priority.

For parents who are struggling to be civil with their ex, here are some tips from Parents Magazine for making joint child custody work:

• Avoid badmouthing your ex to your children. He or she still loves and relies on the other parent. Just because someone was a bad spouse does not mean he or she is a bad parent.
• Be realistic about what parenting schedule works for you. Don’t take on more time than you can afford, out of fear or a sense of revenge.
• Consider the kids’ schedule and needs. Many parents alternate weeks, or take the kids for two to five days at a time.
• Find a way to keep the lines of communication open with the ex, even if the two of you are not on speaking terms. There are online options, like shared calendars, documents and expense logs, that let each parent tell the other what is going on.

With the proper planning and attitude, there is no reason why a child of divorce cannot continue to have both parents be a big part of their life.