How to tell your children that you’re getting a divorce

Parents who intend to end their marriage should do several things before they tell their children that they plan to get a divorce.

When parents in New York decide to end their marriage, they often worry about how their children will cope with this change in their lives. To make the impending divorce process easier on their children, there are several things parents should do as they prepare to tell their children, once they begin the discussion and at the conclusion of the conversation.

Preparing For The Discussion

As parents get ready to tell their children that they are getting a divorce, The Huffington Post suggests that spouses should come up with a script for the conversation together. Then, parents should select a place and a time to tell their children about their intentions that is free from distractions and does not conflict with an important event. For example, parents should avoid telling their children that they are getting a divorce the night before one of their children has a big test at school.

During The Conversation

Once parents initiate the conversation, they should try and concentrate on the positives of the divorce as much as possible, states The Huffington Post. For instance, divorcing parents should reaffirm to their children that even though they will share parenting responsibilities in the future, they will still love each of their children.

Parents should also confirm to their children that the divorce is not their fault and not blame their spouse for the dissolution of their marriage. Instead, divorcing parents should make this decision appear as though it was made collaboratively.

Helping Children Cope

After parents finish telling their children that they are going to end their marriage, there are several things they can do to help their children cope with the upcoming process. According to WebMD, these include some of the following:

  • As the divorce process commences, parents should avoid burdening their children with emotional or financial concerns. Instead, they should confide in a therapist or a close friend.
  • Parents should refrain from speaking negatively about their former spouse in front of their children.
  • If it can be done, divorcing parents should avoid making large changes, such as moving to a new city, for as long as possible. Additionally, parents should try and keep their children's regular routines the same.
  • Parents should encourage their children to maintain the relationship they have with their former spouse.

Although New York parents may try and shield their children from the emotionally trying aspects of the divorce process, they may still have concerns about how the development of a child custody plan will affect their children. If you have similar concerns, contact an attorney in your area to determine what you can do to protect the best interests of your children.